Surrounding Yourself With The Right People Changes Everything
It’s widely known that one of the best ways to improve on a skill is to practice it with someone who’s better than you (think: tennis, skiing, poker, yoga, Boggle…) Yes, you will have to work harder, think faster and learn more fundamentals. You’ll sweat and have sore muscles, but after a while, your skills will improve and, eventually, you might even be good enough to teach someone else a thing or two. This idea of playing with someone better than you translates nicely to your personal and career successes as well, and that’s why it’s important to surround yourself with people who are winners.
I recently had the privilege of attending Summit’s LA18 in Los Angeles. For four days, I listened to keynotes by some of the top thought leaders, entrepreneurs and entertainers in the world, including Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberté, The Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir, chef Jose Andres, Michael Ovitz, Eckhart Tolle, Gary Vaynerchuck, #MeToo pioneer Tarana Burke, and so many more. I couldn’t help but feel inspired by all of these amazing people. By the time the conference/festival was over, I felt invigorated and filled with new ideas. I was playing with winners–listening and sharing with these brilliant minds encouraged me to step up my own game. Here are some practical steps to apply this concept to your own life.
Say Goodbye To The “Negative Nellies”
Everyone has those colleagues who are constantly in turmoil or have serious drama, the ones who will never manage to elevate themselves. Far worse is that they can’t help but try to bring you down right along with them.
Life is hard enough – we don’t always win, and there will always be obstacles and naysayers along our path to success. During those times, nothing feels better than having someone you can share your fears and doubts with: friends and mentors that not only listen, but also cheer you on to be the best you can be. “Get back in there and do better! You can do it!” They give you energy and help you propel forward.
Find and focus on relationships with those who can share their wins and positive vibes and help you realize that you can do the same. Life is too short for the negativity.
Find People Who Are Smarter Than You
Many entrepreneurs and business people aspire to be the smartest person in the room on every topic. But if you’re always the smartest person, you’re actually limiting yourself. Famously, Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” It’s common for us to underestimate the importance of the company we keep. We need people, whether they’re teachers, mentors, family or trusted friends, who challenge us and push us to be better. The right circle of influence raises the bar, helping us to set new, loftier expectations of ourselves. Oftentimes, we don’t know what we are capable of until we see others achieve. It’s not an accident that organizations like Summit Series, EO and YPO are so popular and successful among achievers. When we surround ourselves with positive, successful people they consciously (and subconsciously) challenge us to be our best selves.
Cultivate “Real Life” Relationships With People Who Have Already Accomplished Your Goals
It’s time to rethink how we use our social media and focus on our “real life” relationships. Today’s social media feeds can often be reminders of what we can’t do, haven’t done or don’t believe we can accomplish. Seeing someone’s online “highlight reel” doesn’t truly show you what goes on behind the scenes and how much work it really requires. Spend time on the process of success, not just the results of it.
Highly successful people are generally willing to share what it really takes to make things happen. They have the ability to help you learn from the mistakes they’ve made along the way and the “tricks and tips” to help you reach your goals faster. Seek out leaders of your field and get some real face time with them.
If You Can’t Play Tennis, Watch The Game
Experiencing Summit’s LA18 experience was both inspirational and aspirational and I met some “real life” people who have already made an impact on my life, but I realize that attending seminars isn’t a possibility for everyone. Or perhaps you can’t surround yourself with people who have what you want simply because you don’t know them or can’t get access to them.
My favorite solve is simple: consume their media and make them the “friends in your head.” For example, if you want to take your business to the next level, listen to Gary Vaynerchuck’s daily podcast. Bring him along on your daily drive to work and soak up his tips, tricks and knowledge. Another amazing speaker from the Summit event was Rich Roll. Rich has written a number of books and also has a podcast. If you think you can’t master the wellness game, he will show you how it’s done.
If you want to become your best self I challenge you to review, rethink, and cull through your social media and real life “friends” and find the right people and media content that will actually help you get there.
Written by Jennifer Cohen
